Sep. 18th, 2015

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I thought I wanted to teach high school. I thought I wanted to mold young minds.

... I'm beginning to think I don't. After doing two informational interviews with college professors, and thinking about doing a third, I'm beginning to wonder if teaching high school is really what I want to do.

I want to teach. That much I do know. I just don't know who I want to teach. I want to teach English, but I want to teach literature. I want to listen as people tear stories apart and find the little tidbits that make talking about them interesting.

I don't want to teach English mechanics. Which is something I'll have to teach at the high school level.

I don't want to worry about verb tenses or about how to diagram a sentence. I want to read about analyses of texts and to find out if someone has a different view than I do of the literature that we have to read.

I'm talking myself out of teaching high school aren't I?

I just... I'm not good at workplace politics. And a lot of college work, a lot of work period means politics. I'm not good at it. I freeze up or get too loud, or say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it all comes back to my social phobia and being terrified of people.

I don't know what to do. But I need to decide soon. Because the time is coming that I need to decide on my classes again. And that means deciding: high school or college?

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Cat Rood

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